Friday, April 28, 2006

It frightens me,

in the middle of my graphic design education, how difficult it can be to produce a truly original thought.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Overheard in the checkout line at my super gay supermarket:

Cashier: Hey, how're you? Are you having a nice weekend?
Man: Well, I had a rectal exam yesterday.
Cashier: Oh, um, I'm sorry to, er, hear that.
Man: Nah, it was pretty good actually. I haven't had sex in, like, a week.

Monday, April 10, 2006

It's amazing

how many thoughts initially run through your head when you pick up a baking dish that just came out of a 350 degree oven. It's amazing how none of those initial thoughts are "Put it down, you fucking idiot."

In related news, it really hurt to type this.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

I can think of little else

I find more curious than the Asian people on the MUNI underground trains who are so obviously sleeping when I get on the train, yet spring up and out of their seats at precisely the moment we get to their stop.

Unless, of course, they're not getting off at their stop after all and only spring up when they realize they've been asleep on the train for the last four hours.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

You know what's funny?

I don't even like lattes. Or coffee, for that matter.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

As I sit here at my kitchen table studying the difference between uncials and half uncials (and other such important calligraphic history nuggets) I can't help but think: I'd drown a puppy in my toilet bowl for a mojito with a splash of extra lime.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I haven't got a single thing to say!

Subtitle: A Letter To My Best Friend Connie

I thought I'd sit down and write you an email, but the truth is that I don't even have anything to report! In light of this, I'm just going to ramble for 8-10 minutes and hope you don't put your head through your computer monitor anywhere in the process of reading it!

I go back to class today after a very uneventful Spring Break. (I think I'm going to call it Spring Broken). A large part of the break was spent doing homework or thinking about homework. What happened to the good ol' days when you could hop a plane to Cancun with 18 of your closest friends and drink for five days straight? Not that I'd ever want to do that, but I'd like to think I at least have the option.

I got a new printer yesterday. This is probably the most boring think you've ever heard, but I'm an unrivaled loser so it has been the highlight of my life thus far. It prints up to 13" x 44" and it cost me $300 that I don't really have to spend. Isn't it sad? Remember when I used to blow my money on genuinely important things like messenger bags and winter scarves? I'm not going to lie, though. I thought for a second about how many decent pairs of pants I could have bought instead. I should write a letter to my former self telling him what a failure I've become and warning him not to make the same mistakes.

That is a direct Will & Grace reference. I watch Will & Grace every day. At least twice a day. TiVo records it for me any time it is shown anywhere in the known universe. I think I'm trying to delude myself into thinking that it's not really ending this season. I get sad when I think about it ending. Not really sad for myself, but sad for the cast. Sure, Megan Mullally has a talk show lined up and I'm sure Eric McCormack will be going right back to the stage, but what about poor Debra Messing? What else can she put on her resume? Ned and Stacy?

I really don't want to go to class today. My teacher looks like Paula Abdul would have had she not had any work done and acts even crazier. I've already told you that she hears voices in her head. Well, I found out the week before break that she's been giving me C's on my projects because she thinks I'm Andrew. I'm so glad she grades based on who we are and not on what we do. Also, Andrew has a unibrow and I'm not quite sure how to interpret that.

See? I didn't have a single thing to say! Now tell me what's going on in your life. I think this is one time when it's safe to say our lives are not running parallel. Unless you got a new printer too. And then we can give them matching names!

love you bye!

ps...I'm so posting this on my blog. You know, two birds, one stone, blah blah blah. It's not like there's anything private in there about you. Oh, have the crabs cleared up?